Either way, they shared stories of loss, sorrow, and later pregnancies intermingled with hope and terror. And I occasionally hide newsfeed baby photos posted by friends who had similar due dates. Here are a few* that I hope can help others:"A year after my own miscarriage, I won't say it goes away, but the sharpness and the constancy of the grief dulls. There's a line from a novel I read over and over again around my due date, 'You were unsure which pain is worse — the shock of what happened or the ache for what never will.' I still mark dates and that time in my head (I would have had a 9-month-old now), but it's less sharp.And that grief has changed me, in many ways for the better. And as much as the path to get there is one I wouldn't wish on anyone, there is a lovely silver lining in truly learning your own strength. And you'll keep getting stronger." "We all cope differently.She told me that it's a club no one ever wants to be in — but once you're in, you realize almost everybody you know was already a member.And with at least one in five pregnancies ending in miscarriage, the odds are that she's right. Some people called right away, and some waited a month or two to send us a note. But along with leaning on my husband, my family, my faith, and my community, the kind words and stories of a few brave women (and men) have helped me push through. I know after a miscarriage, TTC is even scarier, especially if you conceive sooner than suggested, so I wanted to share our story of miscarriage to pregnancy! Because of this, my hubby and I figured we might as well start trying as the doctor said we needed to if we wanted a chance of conceiving naturally, and when I say trying I mean on the daily, sometimes multiple times (Not that Hubby complained haha ). I was told becoming pregnant and maintaining a pregnancy was going to be harder for me due to past medical issues with ITP, Ovarian Cysts, Irregularity, and stress I was under due to my job.However, at 8-9 weeks, I started having cramping and spotting, and then finally found out by going to the ER that I was having a natural miscarriage. The doctor told us not to do the deed for at least a week, and to not try again until after three months.
About three weeks after the miscarriage had been confirmed, I started feeling tired and would get queazy randomly.My sweet husband has been, without my knowledge, deleting emails in our joint account each morning before I wake, but this pesky email got through and reached another address.When we found out I was pregnant this past winter, we told everyone we knew — friends, family, Facebook. We told everyone about our loss just as publicly as we announced our joy — and it was the best thing that could have happened.We'd done all the genetic tests and passed the first trimester, so we thought we were in the "safe zone." After the news broke, we received an unbelievable amount of well-wishes and congratulations. Less than five minutes after posting about our loss, a former coworker called me.But when I miscarried a month later from an undetected chromosomal condition, though, there was no hiding. We had talked about her children and pregnancies often over the years, but I never knew about her own miscarriage.